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Asking for help can be an act of kindness.

Admission #1: I’m not very good at asking for help. You too? Yip, we’re a big community.
Admission #2: I’m getting better at it. I need to. We need to. Because, well, this…

I used to associate asking for help with concepts like imposition (I know you’re really busy but I need your help with…) or inconvenience (I know it’s out of your way but will you please…) and downright cheekiness (I know you’re really busy and it’s out of your way, but help me anyway…). In my frame of reference, asking you for help = my time is more precious than yours.

Until this conversation happens…

My jewellery designer friend and I are talking about my shop and product launch — it happened by the way. 10 June. My birthday. Launches are always more fun that way. But, I digress. Back to the phone convo…

Me: This launch has been a lesson in accepting support. I think it’s essential in business. Well, actually, it’s essential, full stop.

Shirl: Mmm, especially for fiercely independent people like us.

Me: Yes. And my ego can be really rather big about it (and not in a kind way). I feel weak and incapable and incredibly selfish when I have to ask for help. But, you know, we can’t do it all alone. And I’m realising that I’m surrounded by a LOT of people who want to support me. No agenda. No expectation of anything in return. All love. And this morning, I sent a thank you up to the universe. To say I acknowledge all this support, I receive it, I am great.full.

And then, Shirley pours some gold into the conversation.

Shirl: Well, you know, asking for help can make someone else feel useful. It can be a wonderful act of kindness.



Holy truth. Not always, of course. Sometimes, people just can’t help. And that’s okay. They have their reasons and the right to refuse. But sometimes, asking for help can help someone else.
Asking your mom for help can help her feel useful, valued, needed.

Asking your friend for help, after she just left the man who broke her bones and her self-belief, can help her see her worth again.

Asking the intern for help — and I mean his input, his opinion and his expertise on something important, not the usual shitty slog work he’s used to being asked to do — can help him hone his skills and bolster his confidence.

Asking for help can help someone pay off a karmic debt or push through a long-held limit on their potential or pave the path that leads to their purpose.

Revelation dawning. Like, it’s not about you.

And when you think of it that way, it makes asking for help feel like an invitation for someone else to shine. Like a declaration that I see you, I trust you, I need you. Like an offering of kindness or a showering of faith. And that feels more like a service than a request or an imposition.

Asking for help can actually feel really helpful. Twitter Bird Icon: Neshika's Tweetable

There are people everywhere, waiting for you to put up your hand and ask for help.
So, like, ask for help.
Be of service.

PS. That shop launch I mentioned? It happened. The doors are open. Come on in.

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