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The Comparison Game. Let’s play… NOT.

You know the rules of the game: measure yourself against other people’s achievements, other people’s levels of aptitude, other people’s success and failure. Play for total loser status (or become a self-proclaimed god). Either way, nobody’s a winner.

I’m not enough. I don’t have enough. I wish I had what they have, which is to say, I’m not enough to have enough. There’s a crushing of confidence that occurs when we compare ourselves to people who we think are better than us or have more going for them. Often, they’re people we admire and respect, envy even, because openly or secretly, we aspire to be like them.

What’s wrong with being you?

Don’t get me wrong – role models are valuable and vital, especially when you’re going after your dreams, because you need to know that there are people who have gone before you, seen it through, made it happen. They’re proof of resilience and creative power. So yes, aspiration is important. But emulation? That’s a dangerous landscape. When you strive to “be like” someone else, you lose sight of your own creative power and ability to withstand.

I used to want to be Oprah. “The next queen of talk,” I used to say. Well, apart from the obvious reasons why that will never happen, my man once pointed out: You’re so focused outside yourself that you forget what YOU have to offer. Bingo. Nail on the head. Oprah’s taken. Everyone else is taken.

Why would you want to be someone else’s cover when you get to be the original you? Twitter Bird Icon: Neshika's Tweetable

In the shadow of comparison, everything you have going for you gets dampened down until all that’s left for you to see is what you think you’re lacking.

As for only seeing what other people are lacking, let’s put that kind of comparison in its place too.

I’m not talking about seeing the beggar on the side of the road with blistered bare feet and dusty ragged clothing, bearing a cardboard “spare some change” sign that doubles up as his bed at night, and breathing a prayer of thanks for all the things you have that he doesn’t. No. No. No. Gratitude shifts us out of comparison right back into the abundance of our own lives. It’s essential. I’m speaking to the ego-engorging kind of comparison. The kind that’s drenched in discrimination. The kind that says I have more than you because I’m worth more than you. The kind that chooses company based on status, carries judgement in its back pocket, deifies “more” and looks down its nose at “less.” That kind of comparison is arrogance, plain and simple. It’s one of my least favourite human characteristics. Arrogance robs the arrogant of the soul-connection that the people they deem “beneath them” have to give.

Great.full.ness grounds you. Arrogance grinds the people around you into the ground. Twitter Bird Icon: Neshika's Tweetable

I have no other solution for The Comparison Game and the inferiority or god complexes it induces except to say: Let’s just stop playing it. If you want to show up for your life, then withdraw from the game. Walk away. Walk towards your own greatness.

Now is a good time to quote Danielle LaPorte:


“From the shape of our cells to the swirl of our fingerprints, each human is profoundly, almost incomprehensibly unique. In all the eons of time, amongst trillions of human eggs that have been fertilized and hatched … there is only one you: microscopically remarkable, positively unrepeatable, original, and… beyond compare.”


You bring something to this world that was never here before, and that will never be here again when you leave: YOU. An essential truth worth dropping into the ocean of your heart.

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