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The Ecstasy of Surrender

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So there I am, standing over a warm white softly scented candle, willing it to burn faster. I need the wax to soften just enough for me to hack away everything that hasn’t melted down on its previous illuminations. And I say hack because that’s exactly what I’m doing. For 30 minutes. Solid.

Bringing me out of my trance-inducing peck-slash-toss rhythm, my man asks:
What are you doing?

My response:
Getting the candle to burn precisely all the way to the edge.

His speechless incredulity compels me to explain:
It’s been freaking me out that the wick is boring a hole straight down the middle. It needs to burn to the edge. It needs to use the wax evenly.

(Because, of course, it’s my candle. And my candle has the power to consciously command the flame to concentrate its heat in one direction at a time and create a perfect cylinder as it burns. Because that’s how I like it. And my candle should know. Yes, it should.)

Speech returns and I get this pointed proclamation:
My cheeky wife, I think you might be too type A for candles. You can’t control an organic process.

I play that one over: “You can’t control an organic process.”
Something clicks. Where else do I do this? Quick and fast, the answer comes: with my dreams.

Do you do this with your dreams?

Pushing when you need to relax. Forcing instead of finding another way. Squeezing when what’s needed is release. Tensing instead of breathing. Moulding where there’s nothing that needs reshaping. Controlling instead of allowing. Forgetting that you’ve got a whole lot o’ life force on your side a.k.a the universe.

Judith Orloff says, in her TED talk above on the ecstasy of surrender: “You can sabotage success by pushing too hard.” And Marianne Williamson says: “The universe is set up to work on your behalf.”

But you have to ride out and meet the universe half way, right. Nothin’ happens by itself. You gotta take the initiative and release expectations. Exercise your tenacity and loosen your grip on the reigns. Hustle hard to get the momentum going and ride the wave. Keep moving forward and keep yourself open to serendipity.


Surrender isn’t an either/or equation. It’s about doing the work and allowing other-wordly forces to work with you.


You, in co-creation with the universe. Grounded action + an open invitation for providence to move with you. Twitter Bird Icon: Neshika's Tweetable

Because the universe has the power to raise all manner of assistance and miracles in your favour – mind-bending kinds of opportunities that stretch higher and further than your wildest ideas of what could come your way. And there’s ecstasy in surrender – knowing you don’t have to go the distance alone, feeling carried and supported by an ever-present sense of grace. It’s all a matter of continuously aligning with your vision, staying in action and bringing your A-game, all the while creating space for divine intervention.

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